My memories of Bobby Weir and why he was special to me
- Pamela Terhune, Grateful Rescue & Sanctuary
- 3 hours ago
- 5 min read
Pamela Terhune, founder of Grateful Rescue, is a Deadhead. Not only did she follow the Grateful Dead band around the country, she also became friends with the band members, including founder Bobby Weir, who died recently. Here is her tribute:
Please indulge me while I honor Bobby Weir by sharing some of my favorite memories from over the years.
MEETING BOBBY: I met Bobby in 1996 (a year after Jerry Garcia’s death) after befriending a girl by the name of Donna from Shelton, Connecticut in an old AOL chatroom for Deadheads. Donna knew the bass player, Rob Wasserman, from what was Bobby’s current band, Ratdog. She always had after-show passes and invited me to come along for a show. I about fainted the first time I stood eye-to-eye with Bobby. Donna has passed, but she left me a beautiful gift. She introduced me to two special ladies who would travel from show to show with me forevermore, Kelly & Lori.
JUST CHILLIN’: Before I knew it, there were more after-shows than we could count. When you became a friend, you became family. There was never any of that groupie pick-up BS, it was all time spent sitting around on sofas, around a table, sometimes even in the middle of the empty theatre after everyone went home. Just talking and unwinding. I remember once in Columbus, Ohio, sitting outside a venue nestled under several city bridges, lighting up the night sky. Looking up at them, Bobby spoke about how much he loved bridges and how cool they are. I loved that. I never looked at bridges the same after that conversation.
BOBBY & MY MOTHER: My favorite memory with Bobby involves my mother. When the
band's bassist, Rob Wasserman, got married, I had an invite plus one and took Mom. The wedding was small, in an old mansion in Oxford, Mississippi, near the Ole Miss campus. The party moved from a library before the wedding to a hole-in-the-wall bar after the wedding on the campus. When it was time to go back to our hotel, about 6 of us were all trying to get in the car to ride back with Bobby. It was a convertible, so Bobby suggested we put the top down and pile in that way, and we did. One person wasn’t in: Mom. I said, “Come on, Mom, get in!” She said no, she was afraid to get the cold on her head (It was February). She said it was only a couple of blocks, she’ll just walk. Bobby immediately got out of the car and said, “I’ll walk with you.” Everyone else piled out of the car and decided they would walk, too!
WHEN BOBBY SAVED ME FROM HUMILIATION! A fun memory from an after-show, it was a young lady’s birthday, and we all sang happy birthday to her. After the song, I belted out the traditional, “And many mooooore!” Michael, the sound guy, started laughing and said, “that’s such an “OLD” thing!” I told him to just shut up, but we were having a laugh about it. But then Bobby started belting out, “And many mooore! More! More! More!” Then we all REALLY started laughing. Bobby made “and many more” cool again!
BOBBY LIKED MIKE! When my husband Mike and I started dating, I introduced him to the Dead culture. He never saw anything like it in his life! But he quickly caught the bug and he loved meeting Bobby, and Bobby loved him! Mike is a musician, so they talked about music stuff I had no clue about. They exchanged jokes and they just laughed and laughed!
NATASCHA: Over the years, sometimes Bobby’s wife, Natascha was at a show. She is a wonderful spirit with a heart bigger than the universe. We bonded instantly and texted throughout the years to stay in touch.
WEIR MARRIED US! Knowing Bobby was ordained to perform marriage ceremonies, I texted Tascha and asked her if he would consider doing it for us. She wrote back, “He said YES!” We planned all the details, travel and stay three months ahead. About a month before the wedding, Bobby collapsed on stage. He had to go into the hospital for quite a while, so we all decided it was best to make other arrangements. Tascha said to be safe, make other plans. And we did, we were married at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas on June 1, 2013.
During a random cab ride after the wedding, I received a text from Tascha that just said, “Fly up!” My heart sank, I told her we just got married! She said, “Come anyway. He can do a renewal or Buddhist Blessing!” Bobby had only been out of the hospital two days! We booked a flight and were in ‘Frisco the next morning. We called to let them know we would be arriving in about an hour, and I heard Bobby in the background saying, “Tell her we look like the dog patch!” That likely meant he was in his cut-off-at-the knees pants and barefoot, wearing an oversized shirt. Which was exactly what I saw when he opened his door and welcomed us in.
Tascha had set up the whole event. She bought me a bikini, a sheer cover-up, a veil and flowers. She had it all arranged to do the ceremony on the ocean, which was their front yard. Their back yard was the mountains: Stinson Beach, where the mountains meet the sea. The bikini with the cover-up was quite “sheer” and Bobby joked that I had some “showbiz going on.” Their youngest daughter, Chloe, was my flower girl and their Old English Sheepdog, Jackson, was best man. It was a beautiful ceremony. Afterwards, they took us out to eat before saying goodbye. We gave hugs and kisses, and I thanked Bobby from the bottom of my heart.
When Bobby says something very meaningful, he looks up a little with his finger in the air. Doing just that, he said, “Always remember, it was truly my pleasure.” I would tell Bobby I loved him, he would always say, “And I, you.”
GRATEFUL FOR BOBBY: Loving this band all of my adult days inspired the name of our rescue, Grateful Rescue & Sanctuary. We are Grateful in SO many ways. Rest in peace, Bobby, you were a good man. We love you so very, very much. See you on the other side.
